Sexmission
aka Seksmisja
Director:
Juliusz Machulski
Writers:
Pavel Hajný, Jolanta Hartwig, Juliusz Machulski
Cast:
Olgierd Lukaszewicz – Albert Starski
Jerzy Stuhr – Maksymilian ‘Maks’ Paradys
Bozena Stryjkówna – Lamia Reno
Boguslawa Pawelec – Emma Dax
Hanna Stankówna – Tekla
Beata Tyszkiewicz – Berna
Ryszarda Hanin – Dr. Jadwiga Yanda
Country: Poland
Language: Polish
Release Date: 14 May 1984
Awards:
1984 Chicago International Film Festival – Best Feature (Nominated)
1984 Polish Film Festival – Best Production Design: Janusz Sosnowski; Silver Lion: Juliusz Machulski (Tied with Witold Leszczynski for Konopielka 1982)
1986 Fantasporto (Porto, Portugal) – International Fantasy Film Award-Best Film (Nominated)
Ratings:
West Germany: 12
UK: 15
Flickchart Global Ranking: 13,320
Netflix: 2.7/5
Olgierd Lukaszewicz (Albert) & Jerzy Stuhr (Maks)
Sexmission is a 1984 movie from Poland that’s a combination of sci-fi, satire, and sex comedy that didn’t really succeed on any of those fronts for me…but admittedly I’m not viewing it as a mid 80’s era Pole so some of the relevance may be lost in translation.
That’s not to say that it doesn’t have an interesting premise and some amusing moments. It begins in the not too distant future of 1991 when Albert (Olgierd Lukaszewicz) and Maks (Jerzy Stuhr) volunteer for a hybernation experiment. They are to be put in hypersleep for three years, then unfrozen. Well, when our intrepid lads wake up things look a little different from what they were expecting for the brave new world of 1994.
The WWL meets to decide the men’s fate.
First of all, where are all the dudes? The entire world seems to be run by women. Beautiful Eastern European women who wear shorts and the occasional see-through jumpsuit. Our boys have been out of circulation for a while so at first this seems like it won’t be a problem, but eventually they start to realize the horrifying truth: Apparently they haven’t been asleep for three years. Shortly after they went under there was a war between the sexes and…well…we lost.
Seriously, guys. Are you surprised? Be honest. Females are smarter and tougher than us…they squeeze babies out of their vajayjays for Pete’s sake. If they ever turn against us we are burnt toast.
So the boys had been forgotten about until they were dug up by some archeologists. It’s now 2044 and, other than Maks and Albert, men have been declared unnecessary and no longer exist. The population now lives underground and and is run by the World Women’s League led by Her Excellency. They reproduce via parthogenesis and only female babies are created.
Don’t be, or have, a dick.
Like I said before, I can’t really speak to the political satire in the movie. It does appear to be well regarded as a movie that managed to get some shots in during what was still Communist rule in Poland, and I might not be able to fully appreciate that.
As a sex comedy it doesn’t really work either, although there are lots of boobies in the movie. With no men around, women just change their clothes wherever they want and wear clothes made out of cellophane. The rest of the movie is slapstick, a guy trying to run and putting his foot in a bucket? That works in any language.
The Misplaced Boy MST3K Scale:
Since I’m aware of how my cultural bias may lessen my understanding and appreciation of the movie, I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt and awarding it…
Nanites
A MISPLACED BOY WILL RETURN
in
A Misplaced Boy 
As a sex comedy it doesn’t really work either, although there are lots of boobies in the movie. With no men around, women just change their clothes wherever they want and wear clothes made out of cellophane. The rest of the movie is slapstick, a guy trying to run and putting his foot in a bucket? That works in any language.
Well put. I couldn’t have said it better my…hey wait a minute! #funwithspambots