Win of the Week – Texas A&M Students Form Human Wall to Stop Westboro Baptist Protesters

From 700 WLW and Buzzfeed:

Texas A&M alum Lt. Col. Roy Tisdale was killed on June 28 during a training exercise at Fort Bragg, N.C. Tisdale was killed by another soldier who then shot himself.

Days after the soldier’s death, word spread that Westboro Baptist Church members were planning to protest Tisdale’s funeral.

When Ryan Slezia, a former Texas A&M student, heard of the group’s plans, he hatched a plot to foil their efforts.

“In response to their signs of hate, we will wear maroon. In response to their mob anger, we will form a line, arm in arm. This is a silent vigil. A manifestation of our solidarity,” he wrote on Facebook, inviting others to join him in a peaceful protest.

One participant tweeted that over 650 people showed up in maroon shirts to create a “maroon wall”. It appears that the Westboro protestors never showed up.

As the son of a Texan, I’m proud of the Aggies; and as the brother of some Baptists I can tell you that Westboro “Baptist” does NOT represent most Baptists. You know that your hatred is out of control when even the KKK says, “Um…we’re not with them.”

Win/Fail of the Week – God Hates Signs

Yes, it’s both a Win and a Fail. The win is for the guy with the sign:

The fail is for me. Let me explain: Once upon a time I was a fundamentalist Christian. As I have said before, my spirituality has evolved somewhat (the fact that I would even use a word like “evolved” illustrates that fact). I still love Jesus and think He was the coolest, and I have often referred to myself as a “Christian But.” Case in point, I’m a Christian but I don’t hate gays and want them and their fabulous shoes to burn in hell for all of eternity.

Here’s the fail part: I have a lot of Facebook friends and family members who are still in the fundie camp. To them homosexuality is an abomination. Good thing, however, is that the gay can be cured. They think. And if God doesn’t cure it then it’s just going to have to be your thorn in the side, you’ll have to act like you’re straight and normal and keep those impure nasty gay thoughts to yourself.

OK, so on my personal Facebook page I have an album called “Picture of the Day.” Much like here with my Graphs and Fails of the Week, the “of the Day” part is a big fat lie. I post one whenever I find one that is funny, inspiring, or just plain silly. I thought that the above pic was funny, so I posted it.

I should have known better. As quick as you can say “Siegfried and Roy,” the pic had a comment from one of my FBFFs that said something along the lines of “Well, while some of what they say might be correct, we can’t evangelize the world with that attitude.”

Hwat??? I immediately started kicking myself for putting the damn picture on Facebook, knowing that such people exist in my “friends” list. Now this message was on my page, there for all my other friends to see. Some of whom happen to be gay, some of whom happen to be family and gay. What part of what Westboro Baptist Church says is correct? Fags? Hates? God?

OK, Joe. Calm down. Just respond in a reasonable thoughtful manner. So I responded with “No matter what your theology says about homosexuality, I hope we can agree that God doesn’t HATE anybody.” *Sigh* Fine, that oughta do it.  Right?

Wrong. Faster than you can say “Last word,” he came back with “No, he just hates the sin.”

Son of a motherless kumquat!!! I went away and thought about it for a while. Then about a day later another country was heard from. Well, not really. Pretty much the same country. This time it was one of my cousins. Now this lady is as sweet as the day is long, but again, firmly in the fundamentalist camp. She wrote something about how we Christians need to be salt and light to the world…hate the sin but not the sinner…bla bla bla.

I deleted the picture.

Look, here’s the thing: Maybe homosexuality is a sin. I don’t know. I don’t have to know because of two things:

1. I’m not gay.

2. I’m not God.

Frankly, I’m quite glad about both of those things. Even if it is a sin (and I’m not sure it is), who decided that it was the Queen Mother of sins?

I’m pretty sure about some other things that are sins, though. Hate. Pride. Blasphemy. Using the name of the Lord in vain is a sin. Look at that list and then look at the picture again. If God hates anything it’s gotta be people who put their self-loathing and (probably) conflict with their own lusts up on a fucking sign AND THEN PUT GOD’S NAME ON IT.

But, like I said, the biggest failure in this whole thing is mine. Failure of judgement, I should have known that putting a picture like this on Facebook would be like hanging red meat out for a pit bull. Why was I surprised when people jumped on it and put their two cents in?

And the thing I’m most ashamed of is that I didn’t really stand up for my gay brothers and sisters. I was a first class coward. I just took the picture down and ran away. I should have said, “You know what? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on (probably also a sin, and very annoying for the horse). God doesn’t hate fags!!!”

Forgive me, God and my fervent readers. The best I can say is that I’m a work in progress.

Win of the Week – Social Media Explained

This has been kicking around the internets for a while:

My fervent readers will know that it lacks one more variation:

A Misplaced Boy – Random Donut Review

A donut is chosen at random and reviewed.

The review will include a complete list of the donut’s ingredients, ratings, and awards won as found in IDDb.

Joe will include a brief but detailed history of the randomly chosen donut, and give some insight into the making of the donut.

At one point in the review, Joe will get hopelessly sidetracked and launch into a rant that has nothing to do with the donut being reviewed. This rant will include any or all of the following elements:

  1. How he fell in love with the young lady at the Dunkin’ Donuts window.
  2. The political implications of supporting corporations like Dunkin’ Donuts or Krispy Kreme as opposed to a local Mom and Pop donut shop.
  3. Freaking New Yorkers who think their donuts are better than anybody else’s and if they’re so great then why don’t they go the hell back to New Freaking York.

Finally, Joe will get back to the donut at hand and give it a Glazed Rating on a 13 point scale from bad (Dry Cake Donut) to perfect (Maple Bar).

Then Joe will insert the obligatory Eddie Izzard segment (this segment will be NSFW due to language):

Fail of the Week – You Think You Had a Bad Day at Work

Courtesy of (OK, stolen from) Boing Boing, The Guardian, and The Huffington Post.

Let’s get right to the heart of the problem. We’ve all made mistakes at work. Had little “oops” moments. Dropped the ball. Well, you may have had a bad day or week at your job, but at least you’re not these guys:

Per The Guardian:

It was a heart-stopping moment – or nearly so: rushing from a helicopter, two Mexican medics dropped a human heart being ferried to hospital for a transplant. And to compound their embarrassment, press photographers were there to capture the mishap.

Thankfully, the transplant was carried out successfully, although that has not stopped the medics being widely ridiculed online.

The heart was being transported by a police helicopter to a hospital in Mexico City on Wednesday, in what police described as “a rapid, precision manoeuvre” after being flown in from León, in the state of Guanajuato.

In their haste to leave the helicopter, one of the medics tripped, dropping the cooler containing the heart. A bag containing the organ rolled out on to the concrete, along with ice and a bag of saline.

Recovering their composure, the medics picked up the bag containing the heart, replaced it in the cooler and rushed onwards to the La Raza hospital.

After almost four hours of surgery, hospital officials reported that the operation had been successful and “without incident”. But doctors will have to wait 72 hours to see if the recipient, a 20-year-old woman, has accepted the new organ, which was donated by a 24-year-old man who died on Tuesday after a car crash.

A spokesman from Mexico’s health secretariat said of the incident: “Fortunately, the heart was protected and not damaged.” He explained that the heart was protected in a waterproof steel container, which meant it was never exposed to the outside environment.

Here’s some video:

¡Ay, caramba!

Sure, it’s easy to be a Monday morning quarterback. In hindsight maybe these guys could have done a few things differently. You know…walk briskly instead of run, pick up the damn ice chest instead of rolling it, there were two of you. Check how tight that lid is. I don’t know how litigious people are in Mexico, but if this had happened here there would be a massive lawsuit against the Igloo Corporation.

It’s only funny because it all worked out and the operation was a success. OK, let’s be honest, it would still be freaking hilarious. But I would feel bad about it. A little.

Fail of the Week – Cell Phone Hypocrisy

So the other day I pull up to a stoplight and notice the guy in front of me has a bumper sticker that says this:

Then I look up at the driver. Sure enough. He’s got a cell phone in his ear.

Of course, with such a righteous opinion against cell phone usage while driving, surely he put the phone down when the light changed.

That would be a big NO on that one. I thought about chasing him and trying to get a shot with my cell phone, but it seemed a little…I dunno…dangerous.

So I found this instead. Different dude, same hypocrisy:

fail owned pwned pictures
see more epic fails

Fails of the Week – Bad Christmas Ornaments

So, we’ve established that Christmas trees are evil and want to kill you and burn down your house. In spite of this, many of you will ignore my warnings and put up a tree anyway.

Fine. Be that way. If you insist on doing the whole tree thing, I offer the following bad, tacky, and downright tasteless Christmas tree ornaments for your consideration. And I don’t mean tacky as in something your precious first-grader made for you, I mean tacky as in…well, you’ll see:

♫ Up on the rooftop/Sick, sick, sick ♫ From Zazzle

The Baby Jesus may not have cried, but I want to cry just looking at this. From Wacky Owl

Oh…so these were the reindeer games Rudolph wasn’t included in. From InventorSpot

Carlton Cards “Heirloom” Ornament? Sorry, but if it has anything to do with Grease, it’s not the one that I want. From The Shark Guys

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas.

And finally, I give you the tackiest and most tasteless ornaments of all. I saw these at my local Walgreens:

I had so many reactions to this that I couldn’t choose just one, so I’m going to list them all and let you tell me which one you like best (or write your own):

a.) Is it just me or do the plastic versions look more lifelike?

b.) Collect them all, just like the Jersey Shore cast members collect STDs.

c.) Something tells me this won’t be the first time Snooki has hung from a tree by her hair.

d.) Three words: Ho, ho, ho.

And, as a public service, I give you…

…a Snooki upskirt (now we’ll see how many search engine hits this post gets).

Fales of the Weak – Speling Misteaks

Yeah, I know…

Stolen from Courtesy of Buzzfeed. Comments in italics are mine:

Yeah, that’s about right. Also, you misspelled “Louis.” 

…from your classmates at Havard.

Now with more cowbell!

“So what, they won’t notice!”

Posted outside of the ‘True Love Waits‘ Convention.

I know right? They spelled “harbor” funny!

Wrong, just so many kinds of wrong.

Fails of the Week – More Tattoo Fails

Lately the old bloggerino has been getting a lot of views looking for tattoo fails. As far as I can tell I’ve only done one, so never let it be said that I don’t at least try to give the internet maw what it’s hungry for, here’s a fresh batch of not so fresh ink for your pointing and laughing pleasure:

Comments in italics are mine (mostly).

Hope she doesn’t use spell-check.

“OK Macaulay, point to the tattoo and tell me where the creepy guy with the glove touched you.”

Sadly, shortly after this picture was taken he became a smooth jazz fan.

They must be so proud.


Atlas Shrugged…and so did everybody else.

What a bum…I mean, what a boob…I mean, oh never mind.

There is a strange, silent moment between them.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a terrible CLICKING sound is heard. Frightening black forms are emerging from the darkness. Carl the tattoo artist looks behind him and gasps. Past the figures coming toward him, he sees his own dead body. Before Carl the tattoo artist can cry out, the dark figures swoop down and envelop him. In a flash, his spirit is caught and surges with the dark forces back into the shadows. Far in some invisible distance, we can barely hear him scream.

And then it is silent. It is over.