So, we’ve established that Christmas trees are evil and want to kill you and burn down your house. In spite of this, many of you will ignore my warnings and put up a tree anyway.
Fine. Be that way. If you insist on doing the whole tree thing, I offer the following bad, tacky, and downright tasteless Christmas tree ornaments for your consideration. And I don’t mean tacky as in something your precious first-grader made for you, I mean tacky as in…well, you’ll see:
♫ Up on the rooftop/Sick, sick, sick ♫ From Zazzle
The Baby Jesus may not have cried, but I want to cry just looking at this. From Wacky Owl
Oh…so these were the reindeer games Rudolph wasn’t included in. From InventorSpot
It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas.
And finally, I give you the tackiest and most tasteless ornaments of all. I saw these at my local Walgreens:
I had so many reactions to this that I couldn’t choose just one, so I’m going to list them all and let you tell me which one you like best (or write your own):
a.) Is it just me or do the plastic versions look more lifelike?
b.) Collect them all, just like the Jersey Shore cast members collect STDs.
c.) Something tells me this won’t be the first time Snooki has hung from a tree by her hair.
d.) Three words: Ho, ho, ho.
And, as a public service, I give you…
…a Snooki upskirt (now we’ll see how many search engine hits this post gets).