So, we’ve established that Christmas trees are evil and want to kill you and burn down your house. In spite of this, many of you will ignore my warnings and put up a tree anyway.

Fine. Be that way. If you insist on doing the whole tree thing, I offer the following bad, tacky, and downright tasteless Christmas tree ornaments for your consideration. And I don’t mean tacky as in something your precious first-grader made for you, I mean tacky as in…well, you’ll see:

♫ Up on the rooftop/Sick, sick, sick ♫ From Zazzle

The Baby Jesus may not have cried, but I want to cry just looking at this. From Wacky Owl

Oh…so these were the reindeer games Rudolph wasn’t included in. From InventorSpot

Carlton Cards “Heirloom” Ornament? Sorry, but if it has anything to do with Grease, it’s not the one that I want. From The Shark Guys

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas.

And finally, I give you the tackiest and most tasteless ornaments of all. I saw these at my local Walgreens:

I had so many reactions to this that I couldn’t choose just one, so I’m going to list them all and let you tell me which one you like best (or write your own):

a.) Is it just me or do the plastic versions look more lifelike?

b.) Collect them all, just like the Jersey Shore cast members collect STDs.

c.) Something tells me this won’t be the first time Snooki has hung from a tree by her hair.

d.) Three words: Ho, ho, ho.

And, as a public service, I give you…

…a Snooki upskirt (now we’ll see how many search engine hits this post gets).


17 thoughts on “Fails of the Week – Bad Christmas Orna- ments

    • When the definitive history is written about the decline of Western Civilization, I’m sure at least one chapter will be devoted to ‘Jersey Shore.’

  1. I just have to get me those Jersey Shore ornaments. They should become enormously valuable collectibles. Just kidding!

    The crying baby reminds me of the movie “Aliens” where the humans are cocooned for impregnation. Super scary!

  2. Greas!? oops… Grease!? Why did that make the list??? I mean, maybe you’re not a huge fan, and that I can understand, but putting them in the same category of tastelessness as poop and Snooky’s plastic parts just doesn’t seem right. I know it’s your blog and you can do what you choose, but…
    (and all that said in a shrill whiny voice. Think Didi Conn)

    • Not only am I not a huge fan of ‘Grease.’ I hate it with a passion beyond time. Still, I have forgiven Ms. Conn for her involvement with the celluloid travesty known as ‘Grease,’ along with John Travolta, Stockard Channing, and even the late Jeff Conaway. They were young (OK, most of them were in their 30s) and didn’t know any better.
      I can see that one day I will have to do a movie review of ‘Grease’ in order to fully set the record straight about the many things that are wrong with it…but in order to do that I will have to watch it again. I cringe at the very thought.
      I thank you for voicing your opinion, however; and as always, thanks for reading my silly blog posts.

    • Garry Crimble and Many Rudolph to you from Liverpuddle and elsewhere!

      Still putting that 2268 piece puzzle together, but I’m making progress.

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