Never trust someone who says “Just trust me.”

Never use a hard bristle toothbrush.

Never worry about what anyone thinks of you except for God and your Mama. If you’re an orphaned atheist, then you’re home free.

Never turn your back on a friend or family member, no matter how annoying they get.

Never start eating your popcorn until the first preview starts.

Never lie. It’s usually a bad idea and you’re probably not very good at it anyway.

Never be afraid to try something new, provided that it doesn’t violate any laws of a civil society, basic decency, or physics.

Never be afraid of failure. Abraham Lincoln blah blah blah…

Never take a sunset, rainy day, or kiss for granted.

Never be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.

Never point at someone unless you’re telling them how great they are.

Never forget that no matter how cool, funny, smart, or good looking you are, some people are going to think you stink worse than last year’s cole slaw. They’re not worth your time.

Never cut off your integrity, it doesn’t grow back.

Never be mean.

Never ignore that still, small voice in the back of your head, especially when it says “Run.”

Never fail to tell someone you love them. It might be your last chance.

Never interrupt other people.

And, most importantly…

Never give up.


7 thoughts on “Always Say Never

  1. I SO needed to hear that today. It brought a smile…and a tear. You, my Misplaced Boy, are finding your voice and your place.

  2. Sounds like safe advice. I probably broke most of these rules. My biggest regrets are those which I have grown the most from. I’m not saying these are bad rules. However, I would like to add one more to this list of “nevers”:

    Never … umm … rarely use superlatives. God is the only superlative. Everything else is surprisingly negotiable.

    Here are my personal revisions to your list:
    Trusting a stranger is ok sometimes if you have developed good instincts.
    Try something that looks like it might be painful if it comes highly recommended.
    Worry is consistently a waste of time.
    You love your family, but sometimes you just gotta get away from them. – Ain’t that the truth!
    Have popcorn and beer for dinner at least once.
    When thinking about trying something untested, weigh the risks.
    Own your failure as one step closer to success.
    Analyze that small voice that says, “Run”. Maybe its right. Maybe its wrong.
    Don’t be afraid of skinned knees and broken hearts. They hurt like hell, but you will survive. Trust me. Life is worth the pain.

    Love comes from surprising places. If you always expect it, you will find it more easily.
    Much aloha to you, Joe

    • I break them all the time, that’s part of the reason I wrote them down. It was originally going to be a song, with kind of a country feel, but then I realized two things:
      1. I have no musical talent.
      2. Country music sucks.
      So it became a blog post instead.

      Glad you weighed in, Crystal. Apt as always.

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