So this is the second time since I started this blog that there has been a big hullabaloo about the Rapture coming on a specific day and time.
“A great earthquake will occur the Bible describes it as “such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great. ‘This earthquake will be so powerful it will throw open all graves.The remains of the all the believers who have ever lived will be instantly transformed into glorified spiritual bodies to be forever with God.”
OK, so only the remains of people who were buried in graves will be transformed. People who were cremated and their ashes scattered over the ocean or somewhere that isn’t a grave will be out of luck? Missionaries who were eaten by members of the cannibalistic tribe that they went to evangelize? “Hmmm. let’s see. You were eaten and then your bones were used to make a new throne for the tribal chieftain…no grave for you. Sorry, no grave no rapture. Well, we must have rules. Right?”
You have to understand, I grew up in fundamentalist Christian churches. As long as I can remember preachers have been saying that Jesus was coming soon. But in true fundamentalism we are also told that…well, I’ll let Linus tell you (with a little help from comedian John Fugelsang):
But this happens all the time, sometimes it gets widely reported and sometimes nobody pays any attention, but somewhere there’s a preacher with a bee in his bonnet who just knows that God has told him when the hour and day is going to be. Even though he’s not supposed to. Like Almighty God is saying, “Hey…can I tell you a secret? Keep this on the down low OK?”
Like I said, this is the second time this has happened since I started this blog. The first time it was supposed to be September 21, 2009 (these guys really like the number 21), the website stated that this date was derived because it was the end of Rosh Hashana plus a few millenia blah blah blah. Funny thing is, I just went back to the website and it still has all the same stuff on it except now they are saying it will happen at the end of Rosh Hashanah this year.
Also, on that previous post I went to another website that has a Rapture Index that observes several different prophetic indicators. The number for May 16 (apparently the last time it was updated) is a near record 182. Here’s the interesting thing though…one of the categories they use as an indicator is “Date Setting,” here’s what they have to say:
35. Date Setting
To create confusion ahead of Christs return, Satan will likely continue to motivate people to set dates. Being exposed to date settings, observably makes non-Christians hostile to the end-time message.
Well, now there’s something I actually agree with.
Look, kids. I’m a believer. Maybe I’m not the greatest Christian on earth, I’m certainly not much of a fundamentalist anymore, but I am a believer. Can I just tell you something? Between friends? This shit makes us look bad.