The 10 Second Interview That Took Forever

So…shortly after I got on Facebook I started answering questions on The 10 Second Interview app. It soon became clear that the 10 seconds did not refer to the time the entire interview took because there 500+ questions. But I liked the whimsical nature of the questions so I answered them 10 or so at a time and kept the box on my page (they’ve since done away with pages). It took a while but eventually I answered all of the questions, and I thought it might be mildly amusing to look back at them. I’ll put up about 50 answers at a time, so this will be the first in a series.

Most of my answers are attempts at humor, but not all of them. Also remember that I was answering them in 2008, so some of the answers might be topical. I’ve provided links where they might be helpful. Please to enjoy:

Someone once dared me to…
eat fried insects. I was totally going to do it, but they were bluffing. True story.

On a scale from 1 to crazy, I’m about a:
crazy and a half.

I’m down with…
ADD. What were we talking about?

My power animal is…
Turtle, definitely turtle.

How do you like your coffee?
Black, like my men.

Who would play you in a movie version of your life?
Bruce Willis or Sean Connery or John Malkovich…but probably Michael J. Pollard.

If I wrote the script for a porno, I’d title it… 
Wait a minute…they have scripts?

What album could you listen to every day for the rest of your life?

'Doolittle' Pixies

Look around! What’s the closest red object?
Del Taco cup

Which letter of the alphabet can you totally not stand?
W. Like one U isn’t enough…greedy bastard.

What’s your favorite smell?
Rain. Oh no wait…bacon.

I’m allergic to… 
morning.

Would you rather listen to the same song or eat the same meal for the rest of your life? 
As long as the song is by Wierd Al Yankovic, I’m good.

One in the hand is worth two in the…
Indymac Bank. 

Which of the following describe you? Teenage? Mutant? Ninja? Turtle?
Turtle, definitely turtle.

Have you ever fallen asleep while driving?
Yes. Only for about 20 minutes though, and I woke up so refreshed.

I wish my boyfriend/girlfriend would… 
exist.

What’s the best picture you’ve ever taken?
I think there was a good one when I was five.

What makes you smile?
My daughter (awwwwww!)

I feel most powerful when…
I’m honest.

What was your worst fashion mistake?
Being alive in the 1970s.

If I could control my dreams, I’d dream about…
being Aquaman!

Wii, XBox 360, or PS3?
Wii

What would you do if you could be invisible?
Depends…can I fly too?

Pop Culture is…
usually devoid of any spiritual depth or moral center, which leaves the vast majority of its consumers devoid of…wait, I forgot this is a 10 second interview.

What’s your favorite type of cuisine?
Italian

Skirts, shorts, or skorts?
Skirts. Definitely skirts.

Truth or Dare?
Truth

What music should they play at your funeral? (example: Get On Up)
I’m dead what do I care?

Bill or Hillary?
Do I have to?

I think Global Warming is…
real and it’s all your fault.

Do you have an innie or an outie?
I have a freaking buddha belly, OK? Let’s move on!

What’s your favorite charity?
Southern Poverty Law Center

Blonde, Brunette, or Redhead?
Yes, thank you.

If there’s another book, it should be called “Harry Potter and The …” 
Haunted Nursing Home.

Tom Cruise: Crazy town, or misunderstood?
Crazy misunderstood.

I wish I had a miniature… 
Id.

Ah! To be young and… 
have hair.

Fill in the blank: ________ + Chocolate = Heaven 

Rosario Dawson

What snack food can you scarf down a whole bag in one sitting?
What have you got?

There’s something fishy about… 
Bouillabaisse

I’d do just about anything for… 
a Klondike Bar?

What’s your favorite blue food?
Are foods any other color?

What are the odds that this interview never ends and is just a psych experiment? 
Very high.

If I had a DeLorean, I’d… 
sell it.

I’ve never…
broken any bones.

What’s your favorite song lyric? 
I’d go to hell for ya/Or Philadelphia

Cake or Pie?
Cake, but only if its chocolate.

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