Since June 2 of this year, former occupant of the White House George W. Bush has been on Facebook. Since I know that most of my fervent readers have simply been too busy to check out Dubya’s page for yourselves, I have diligently scoured the page for any interesting insights into what has been on the mind of Mr. Mission Accomplished since he left Washington.
Here I present a few of his status updates for your enlightenment:
June 2, 2010 – My name is George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United Estates. Glad to be here on Spacebook. I look forward to hearing from all my friends on the Internets.
June 4, 2010 – Laura and I had some *alone* time the other night. Know what I’m sayin’? All I’m gonna say is, somebody around here needs to clear some brush, and it aint me.
June 5, 2010 – I wonder why I haven’t heard from Cheney. Hey Dick Heart, gimme a call!
June 7, 2010 – Folks ask me what I miss most about livin’ in the White House. I’d have to say goin’ to the White House pool and seeing Condi in her bikini. Schwing!!! LOL!
June 11, 2010 – People are callin’ that oil spill thing “Obama’s Katrina.” That’s a good thing, right? Cuz Brownie and I did a heckuva job on that Katrina thing.
June 11, 2010 – I wonder why I haven’t heard from Condi, hey Wonder Twins gimme a call!
June 12, 2010 – Just thought I oughta answer the question that everybody wants to know from the Perzident, so here goes. Ginger, man. Definitely Ginger.
June 13, 2010 – Y’know them Secret Service boys can’t take a joke. I paid some neighbor kids $10 to act like they were gonna shoot me with some water pistols. Damn, reckon I’ll have to send their parents a sympathy card.
June 14, 2010 – I like that Lady Gaga cuz she shows her ass in her videos. LOL. I like ass.
June 14, 2010 – I wonder why I keep hearing from Rove. Hey Turd Blossom, get a life!
June 15, 2010 – Hey, don’t forget that my new book ‘Decidery Points’ comes out in November. I hear it’s pretty good.