Since June 2 of this year, former occupant of the White House George W. Bush has been on Facebook. Since I know that most of my fervent readers have simply been too busy to check out Dubya’s page for yourselves, I have diligently scoured the page for any interesting insights into what has been on the mind of Mr. Mission Accomplished since he left Washington.

Here I present a few of his status updates for your enlightenment:

June 2, 2010My name is George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United Estates. Glad to be here on Spacebook. I look forward to hearing from all my friends on the Internets.

June 4, 2010Laura and I had some *alone* time the other night. Know what I’m sayin’? All I’m gonna say is, somebody around here needs to clear some brush, and it aint me.

June 5, 2010I wonder why I haven’t heard from Cheney. Hey Dick Heart, gimme a call!

June 7, 2010 Next time you’re in Texas, be sure to visit the George W. Bush Museum & Gift Shop. Careful with the pretzels though, they’ll get ya! LOL!

June 7, 2010Folks ask me what I miss most about livin’ in the White House. I’d have to say goin’ to the White House pool and seeing Condi in her bikini. Schwing!!! LOL!

June 8, 2010What’s wrong with that Miley Cyrus and her little outfits? I guess all girls can’t be role models like Jenna and Barbara Jr.

June 10, 2010Ha ha ha, Al & Tipper Gore are getting divorced! Only Republicans have good marriages becuz we have family values.

June 11, 2010People are callin’ that oil spill thing “Obama’s Katrina.” That’s a good thing, right? Cuz Brownie and I did a heckuva job on that Katrina thing.

June 11, 2010I wonder why I haven’t heard from Condi, hey Wonder Twins gimme a call!

June 12, 2010Just thought I oughta answer the question that everybody wants to know from the Perzident, so here goes. Ginger, man. Definitely Ginger.

June 13, 2010Y’know them Secret Service boys can’t take a joke. I paid some neighbor kids $10 to act like they were gonna shoot me with some water pistols. Damn, reckon I’ll have to send their parents a sympathy card.

June 14, 2010 I like that Lady Gaga cuz she shows her ass in her videos. LOL. I like ass.

June 14, 2010I wonder why I keep hearing from Rove. Hey Turd Blossom, get a life!

June 15, 2010Hey, don’t forget that my new book ‘Decidery Points’ comes out in November. I hear it’s pretty good.


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