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divide-by-zero-hole

I don’t have anything to do tonight. Last week Sprinkles mentioned that some people were going to Chiefs Wings and Firewater after work, for about a minute I thought about offering to be her designated driver…with the thought that if something happened between us in a parking lot somewhere between Chiefs and her place, then the new year might get off to a good start.

Then I managed to reattach my brain and realized that this would be using her and would be acting the same way she acts to me. She is all over me when she wants something. When she wants me to come and sit with her in the smoking room because she doesn’t want to be alone in there with the other creepy guy at work that has a crush on her. When she wants me to be there with her when a customer who made her cry earlier in the day comes back to pick up a cake.

The rest of the time, it seems like she couldn’t care less. On Tuesday I had an epiphany when I was in the lunch room and she walked right past me twice on her way to and from the smoking room and didn’t even acknowledge me.

I have had imaginary conversations with her when I have told her that she lets guys use her and treat her like shit, and she is worth more than that. That day I realized that this is what she’s doing to me. It’s pathetic, it would be slightly less pathetic if I was getting something from it, but I’m not. In spite of all of our back room innuendo, nothing physical has ever happened between us.

So, I don’t make New Years Resolutions, but I made a commitment to myself that in regards to Sprinkles I’m going to see the truth, get over my crush, and stop chasing that impossible dream. Meanwhile there are other women I’ve met (one at work and one online) who more genuinely seem interested in me. It’s time to be a man and stop letting a girl drag me around by my dick.

Sorry if that was crude, but I felt that it was apt. Apt!!! (Simpsons reference)

So anyway, farewell to the zeros. The Zeros, or 00s, is what we should be calling this woe begotten decade. Not the oughts, not the uh-ohs, the zeros. Perfectly appropriate because with two exceptions, the zeros were pretty much a zero decade.

They started with George W. Bush illegally ascending to the presidency, then proceeded to get worse with my Dad dying in June of 2000. Then of course 9/11 and all the hatred and jingoism that came with it, two wars, my marriage falling apart, Bush getting the office again, my depression and other issues deepening, finally ending with losing everything I had and having to come out here to rebuild.

One bright spot in the decade was Boodles’ birth in 2003, although through no fault of hers she has been caught up in all of Daddy’s sadness because I have lost so much time with her.

The other bright spot was the (legitimate) election of an African American to the US Presidency. I continue to hope and pray that he can get us on the right track in the teens.

Which is what we should be calling it, the teens. Please make a note of it.

So, my list of positive changes for 2010 (not resolutions):

  • Quit being Sprinkle’s chump
  • Continue to get healthy and strong
  • Take care of business (bankruptcy, etc.)
  • Move back to California
  • Continue writing and becoming the best blogger in the world
  • Oh…and finish that damn Christmas songs countdown

Your goals (if I may be so bold):

  • Comment on my blog posts
  • Comment on my blog posts
  • Comment on my blog posts
  • Comment on my blog posts
  • Comment on my blog posts

Thank you, and Happy New Year.

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7 thoughts on “Farewell to The Zeros

  1. Lots to appreciate on this post… but must remark gleefully on the Simpson reference from which yours truly has acquired her name.
    “Its APT, I tell you! APT!!”

  2. I am glad you are thinking of your Dick!! Ooops you!! 😉
    Happy New Year Joe!! I toast tonight to the Teens!! A Kiss for you as well!! Your Fan Always…. MGB

  3. Dear Misplaced Boy,

    I am not a firm believer in New Year’s resolutions simply because, in reality it is just another day. Although my anal retentivity (Is that a word? Apparently it is, at least in the world of spellcheck) delights in the idea of 01-01-10 as a fresh start. The actuality is I am a firm believer that any and every day is a do-over, a chance to start over, change what you don’t like, embrace what you do and keep doing the best you can.

    On that note, (or word…I guess I’m not sing a song, but commenting on a blog) I will share with you my New Year’s Resolution for 2010.

    I have decided that mayhaps we are all misplaced in one sense or another, even myself who has always operated on the assumption (to quote the young Indiana Jones) “Everybody’s lost but me”. So, my NYR (I’m making up net lingo as I type) is to find myself… or at least to look really hard.

    I stumbled across a quote by Julia Margaret Cameron (as lofty as it sounds, I must admit I have no idea who she is) on New Year’s Eve, and I quote…
    “When we are angry or depressed in our creativity, we have misplaced our power. We have allowed someone else to determine our worth, and then we are angry at being undervalued”.
    I am resolving to determine my own worth.

    As for you, our Misplaced Boy, I delight in your prolific documentation of your own journey to find yourself, or at least your place in this world. I hope this year finds you happier and closer to where, who, what, why and how you are suppose to be.

    As always,

    YVB&BF…Brown-Eyed Girl

  4. Well said Brown eyed girl!!! I think their are alot of misplaced people! To finding your own worth and not what others think it should be!!

    Love you…MGB

    • Thanks for those comments, one of the reasons I think the term “misplaced” resonates so much with me and maybe more people is the idea that we are looking for our worth and value.

      The difference between “lost” and “misplaced.” “Misplaced” still offers hope for being found and properly valued.

  5. Its a good thing I scrolled down a bit to find these comment gems! Brown-Eyed Girl, you spoke prophetically into my life just now – or at least I received it in that way. I think that a lot of my anger is a reaction to feeling undervalued. I need to learn how to deactivate those buttons.
    Thanks!

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