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So, last year there was a lady named Sarah Palin who a guy named John McCain liked, for a while anyway. John chose Sarah for a very important job called Vice President of the Entire United States. John and Sarah ran together, and it didn’t go all that well. Long story short, Sarah “went rogue” (hmm, sounds like a good book title), John got tired and needed a nap, and some other guy ended up getting the job.

One of the things that caused a little concern for a while was that Sarah’s 17 year old daughter Bristol was pregnant and unmarried. She and her 18 year old fiance, Levi Johnston, were expecting a baby. Long story short, Bristol gave birth to a boy in December 2008, Bristol and Levi broke up, and Levi Johnston is now not very popular with the Palin family.

So, OK, we all make mistakes, and a man has to make a living. Especially if you are no longer engaged to the daughter of a woman who quit her job as governor so she could make big bucks as an…um…author? Seriously, Levi probably doesn’t have a high school diploma, his attempt at a modeling career hasn’t exactly taken off, unlike his ex he’s unlikely to become a spokeman for abstinence, and as yet Playgirl hasn’t taken him up on his offer to pose for them.

So who, who I ask you, would hire a young man whose only claim to fame is knocking up his underage girlfriend? Is there any company in America willing to stoop so low as to put young Mr. Johnston in a commercial playing off his irresponsibility?

That would be a “yes.”

I have the unfortunate duty to report to you that the sleazy ass nut company that is exploiting a misguided young man’s irresponsibility is Wonderful Pistachios of Lost Hills, California.

It is my further, very unfortunate duty to report to you that Wonderful Pistachios are available at your local WalMart.

In the produce department.

I’m going to bed now.

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