A Few Lines

So, you probably haven’t heard anything about this. There’s this company named Apple. They used to just make computers and now they make phones. A few people seem to like them.

OK, I kid. Of course you’ve heard of freaking Apple because the iPhone 5 has just come out and people have been standing in lines around the world waiting to get them. Well, the lines haven’t literally been around the world…but they’ve been pretty long.

Now, some people (including the site from which I stold copied downloaded with proper attribution the above picture) have called Apple fans cultists.

Yes, you can also consider this post your Graph of the Week. Remember those? Still doing it…just not very much.

Now one could say that over the years I’ve been involved in a cult or two: MSTies, Bondians, some might even say fundies, but I have actually never owned an Apple product. Nothing against Mr. Jobs et al but when I first got a computer in the 90s I bought a PC (from a friend who had gone Mac) and I never went back. I also have never had an iPhone. I currently have an Android (awkward).

But speaking of iPhone lines and fundamentalist Christianity, there’s a Christmas song that I’ve come across called “Where’s the Line to See Jesus?” I don’t know if it would have made the cut for my Good/Bad Christmas Song list that I did a couple years back, frankly I didn’t listen to it past the first verse and chorus. It got me thinking though. It’s easy to laugh at people who are so invested in getting the very latest gadget that they are willing to camp out in line for it, but what would I stand in line for?

I’m not talking about a piddly line of six people at the bank or the grocery store, I mean a serious line that you’re in for hours. Disneyland I guess. You pretty much have to for the big rides. It’s been a long time since I’ve been though. Maybe for concert tickets, Springsteen or somebody like that, but I haven’t done that for a while.

The longest line I’ve been in lately, if ever, was a couple years back when I was still in California. The actual Emancipation Proclamation was on display for just a couple of days at the Ronald Reagan Museum. I went with Tania, Boodles, and another friend. That line was huuuge because they only let it out of the Library of Congress for a few days at a time so as not to damage the paper. At the time Boodles was five so having her stand in line was impossible. I figured the least I could do was be the line guy while Tania kept Boodles busy. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to see the document that freed their slave ancestors from being treated like cattle for so many years in this country. It was worth it. As Tania looked at it, a small tear fell on the glass.

Actually when you think about it, if Jesus actually showed up in the flesh again, who wouldn’t stand in line to see Him? That line would literally be endless. Everybody would bring their sick family members. There would probably be some people in line with big Sparkletts water bottles. Follow them when they leave because that’s where the party is.

It’s probably sacrilegious to say this, but hell yes I would stand in that line for days. First of all, I would want to see what he looks like. My fervent readers will know that I have a pet peeve when movies, TV, and before that Renaissance artists portray Jesus as a white dude instead of a man who was from the Middle East. It’s a pet peeve, but it’s a big one. It’s like a Great Dane peeve.

After I got a good look at the Son of God I might get around to asking him to fix my brain, and maybe put some hair on my head. I hear Amy Poehler is single again, would it be too much to ask…well, let’s not get greedy. Keep it moving, Jesus is a busy God.

So what about it, fervent readers? What would you stand in line for?

Graph of the Week – Cleaning House

We brought my 85 year old Mom came home from the rehab hospital a couple days ago, today I was looking through the papers that she brought home and found this partially completed Word Search Puzzle. Knowing that solving puzzles is a good activity to help fend off Alzheimer’s Disease, I showed her the puzzle and said, “Hey Mom, you should do more of this.”

She responded with, “What? Clean house?”

Graph of the Week – Encouragement ??? Through Biblical Words

This is one of those things that goes around on Facebook. Usually I can resist but I gave this one a looksee:

The first word I saw was “LAZY.” After that I quit looking.

True story.

I do see “MENTALRX” so that’s appropriate. Then there’s “PREYPEACEFUL,” not sure what that’s about.

Also, any female who gets “PASSIONATEZ,” I would love to hear from you ;)

Your WRESTLESS, SINCERED, LOYALNLETHARGIC friend Joe

Graph of the Week – The Cartoon Color Wheel

I know that you’re all still busy finding robots and all, but take a break for a minute and check this one out.

This is a great interactive graph by Natalie Matthews-Ramo, Brahna Siegelberg, Jeremy Singer-Vine, Isabel Slepoy, and Forrest Wickman of Slate.

Because it’s interactive, I can only reproduce a static screenshot showing MY best color. Click to go to the original and taste the rainbow!

Now, just like me I’m sure you will have some opinions about the editorial choices they made regarding which cartoon/comics characters made the cut and which didn’t. I mean, seriously, they put in Patrick from SpongeBob SquarePants, but in the yellow part of the spectrum where’s SpongeBob himself? Nowhere, instead they have lame ass Pikachu. What EV!!!

Oh well, it’s still fun. Enjoy!

Sincerely,

Roy G. Biv

PS. Correction, SpongeBob is up there. Don’t know why I missed him.

PSS. Pikachu’s still lame though.

Graph of the Week – Where’s WALL-E?

This is very cool. Artist Richard Sargent dashed off this little sketch of, like, every robot ever made:

I think I’ve found WALL-E, as well as some of my other old robotic pals: R2-D2 and C-3PO of course, Klaatu, Bender, Rosie, B-9 from Lost in Space, and the Humping Robot. There are also a lot I don’t recognize, and some that I would just as soon forget like the lame ass robot from The Black Hole.

I’m still looking for H.E.L.P.eR., AMEE, both Marvins, and of course Crow, Tom Servo, and Gypsy. I’ll be seriously pissed if my MST3K bots aren’t represented.

How many can you name? I’d love your input here (Input! Yeah, where’s Number 5?), but you can actually use the numbered guide and enter a contest to win a signed poster. Hurry though, the deadline is August 31.

OK, I’d better post this and do some house cleaning. Has anybody seen my Roomba?

PS. For cheating purposes, the source of all knowledge has a pretty good list of fictional robots.

PPS. I made a mistake up there, mad kudos to the first person who points it out.

PPPS. Number 5 isn’t who you think it is.